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Groomology: What Every (Smart) Groom Needs to Know Before the Wedding, by Michael Essany
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About the Author
Michael Essany was the host of The Michael Essany Show from E! Entertainment Television. As a recent groom himself, Essany saw the need for an intelligent guide that would help the couple plan their wedding together.
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Excerpt. © Reprinted by permission. All rights reserved.
Excerpt from Chapter 1: Gearing Up Why Shopping for Candles Could Save the Day After you make a thoughtful assessment of the process to come, begin to formulate an initial game plan. What should you do first? Although it's imperative to gain as much insight as possible from wedding guides, books, and magazines, in the end, only so much of your preparation can come from printed resources. The time has finally come for you to venture out into the real world all by yourself. Indeed, there's never been a more appropriate time to take a drive. Hit your local wedding boutiques, formal wear outfitters, retail outlets, novelty shops, and anyplace else you can find wedding stuff. You may be tempted to bring your fiancé, but you can't—at least not this time. Why? Because you need to keep distractions to a minimum when you're trying to study. And that's exactly what this expedition is about—studying. You're not going to buy anything. You're not going to book anything. Chances are, you're not even going to touch anything. What you will do for certain, though, is learn a great deal about wedding products on the market. All around the world, weddings are big business, not to mention being a magnet for suckers with a non-prioritized budget. Take one box of unscented white tea lights, for example. In most places, you can get a set of one hundred for five bucks. But add the word "wedding" to the packaging of those same little candles, and watch the price balloon to ten bucks for a set of fifty. A high priority on your fledgling to-do list should be taking a drive to four or five wedding-related stores in your neck of the woods, a task that should consume no more than a single morning or afternoon. Soak it all in. Take note of the options available. You probably had no idea that so many products and possibilities are out there. And even though you may initially find yourself bewitched, bothered, and bewildered by the sheer volume of crap you find dominating your window-shopping, the truth of the matter is that this private little rendezvous will make you a much savvier, informed groom. The results of this field trip will prove far reaching. In no time at all, you'll find yourself in a better position to bounce creative ideas off your bride and even answer questions better than she may be able to. Best of all, you now can be trusted in her eyes to venture back into the wedding market to run errands now that she's aware that you're a bit wiser for the wear. Obviously, gaining her faith in your abilities to help plan the wedding is a significant step in reducing her overall stress. When Doing More Is Less By now, you're probably feeling quite the stud. You're informed, you're in touch, and you're seemingly in command of the challenges ahead. Nonetheless, avoid the urge to fill your plate with things to do. You may be tempted to knock out all the planning in a flurry of activity, and then just relax the last six months before your wedding. A preferable alternative is to pace yourself throughout the planning stages. Don't forget, no matter how astute you may think you are now, both you and your bride will still botch something between now and the wedding; it may be trivial or it may be calamitous. By not getting too far ahead of yourself, you can assure that a minor disaster doesn't become a major one or have a domino effect on other elements of your plans you rushed through just to convince yourself you're somehow ahead of the game. In every phase of the process unfolding before you, take small steps. Even for the involved groom, no matter how you cut it, the bride is still going to have more work and stress than you can ever imagine. Don't overload yourself to the point where you become unavailable to do your most important job—help the bride when she gets overloaded. Weddings Are a Team Sport For whatever reason, many men believe it is contrary to the nature of a smart, self-sufficient groom to have to double check with his bride if it's "all right" to do something. Whether it's surprising the bride by booking wedding flowers all by yourself or selecting the men's attire without any discussion, such gung-ho behavior has a huge potential for backfiring. Even if you're taking charge in the planning process, it's absolutely imperative that you take nothing for granted. It may seem counterproductive to call your bride on her cell phone to check with her each time you make a purchase or spur-of-the-moment decision you assume she will agree with. Put that notion out of your head immediately. The potential reward of taking something for granted and getting it right is not worth the risk of getting it wrong. When it comes down to making important decisions on the spot, even ones placed squarely in your court, don't assume anything. Doing things on your own is in no way the same as doing things about which she is unaware. Being entrenched in the planning of your wedding does not give you bridal immunity. It is always a good idea to check in with your fiancé to ensure you're both on the same page about product selection, service bookings, or any other arrangement, small or substantial. Believe me, she won't be annoyed with a call to check that whatever you're about to decide is desirable to her and appropriate for your wedding. In fact, she will probably appreciate it tremendously.
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Product details
Paperback: 192 pages
Publisher: Sourcebooks Casablanca; Smart edition (April 1, 2009)
Language: English
ISBN-10: 1402217897
ISBN-13: 978-1402217890
Product Dimensions:
5 x 0.8 x 7 inches
Shipping Weight: 7.8 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
Average Customer Review:
4.1 out of 5 stars
32 customer reviews
Amazon Best Sellers Rank:
#876,438 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
All in all, Groomology is an easy read (few hours, if that) and worth the money (inexpensive) in my opinion. I'd recommend it to any bride to read first and then hand over to her groom as a cute gift. You can always give it as a hand-me-down to the next lucky couple getting married. Or anyone can give it as an inexpensive yet thoughtful gift to a male friend who has decided to next the step, AKA engagement gift. Something humorous, not a super serious gift, but still quite helpful in getting the groom excited about his role and responsibilities in the wedding planning. Although this is a gift for the groom, it's also a gift for the bride (helping her help him help her, get it?). Moreover, there are several online resources that are listed in the book. If you buy it as a gift, do yourself a favor and read it first (whether or not you are getting married) and then wrap it up. Believe me.
My now husband found this book extremely helpful when we planned our wedding several years ago. He knew exactly what he should help with, and what part his family was supposed to play in the wedding!
I enjoyed reading Groomology: What Every (Smart) Groom Needs to Know Before the Wedding, before I gave it to my fiance. In a humorous way, geared toward guys, it clearly states multiple goals needed to be reached before the wedding. Now, my fiance says he is really enjoying it too. I actually think that it helped us get through a difficult patch; a decision we needed to compromise on. Originally, he had his own ideas and didn't want to hear mine. Later, he heard my opinions, gave me equal time and we came to a compromise. We are BOTH happy with the decision.
have a copy . A wedding takes two people so with the grooms being so new to the wedding process as they didn't start joining the planning process till about 5-10 years ago with many being unaware they deserve a presense in the planning. A worthwhile read gentlemen.
As described
This is a small but helpful book. My son in law to be is very hands on but doesn't want to overstep the lines the bride has set. This book helps to let him determine how much help is required for his particular bride.
Perfect gift
I thought the book had great tips...would have worked better and been more effective if my husband had actually opened the book.
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